“Affleck you were the bomb in Phantoms, Yo!” – Jay

31 01 2012

No line resonates stardom like a complement screamed from an adoring fan running from security on your movie set.  Further more if this fan is the one and only Jay, from Jay and Silent Bob.  “Affleck you were the bomb in Phantoms, Yo!” is the only reason I would have ever thought to watch Phantoms.  If Jay liked Ben’s performance, then I probably would too.  Phantoms arrived on this planet in 1998 with the hopes of being this generations “Blob”.  Of course the movie was destined to race through theaters to arrive on HBO and DVD, but Affleck’s performance I must say was divine.  Ben lands his marks and acts the shit out of this movie.  Not even giant face eating moths or dark oozing masses that travel through sewage pipes could slow Ben down.  I believe this is when he hit his stride, well until Reindeer Games, and Gigli…well and Surviving Christmas.  But hey, he was the bomb in Phantoms!



Yakisoba Western?

29 01 2012

 Sukiyaki Western Django is a fun romp into the fictional Wild Asian West. A modern combination of what boils down to A Fist Full of Dollars and the original Django, it features a lone gunslinger brought into the middle of two warring factions, The Heike (hay-kay) and the Genji. With over done action sequences and everything one can love about cheesy action movies, this one ranks right up there with The Warriors Way.

Although I’m not quite sure if the pseudo racist dialogue was intentional. All of the actors are very clearly not fluent in English save the cameo by Quentin Terintino, whose monologue is incredibly racist in his bastardization of Asian dialect. This amounts to about an hour and a half of great cowboy shootouts, revenge with a tiny love story thrown in.

Next up The Good, The Bad and The Weird.

Thank God Netflix never runs out of this stuff.


“Parents” Was Almost Too Weird, Even For Me…

28 01 2012

Last night we had a last minute Movie Night so I decided to snag “Parents” off of the Netflix instant que.  The synopsis of a young kid living in the 1950’s who thinks his parents are cannibals sounded really strange and intriguing.  So naturally we were all for it…after 14 hours and a good nights sleep I still don’t know what to think about it.

Released in 1989, directed by Bob Balaban, who I think is known more for his acting than for his directing, went for an all out art film direction.  “Parents” is filmed very well and continues to make you feel uneasy and creeped out with what’s taking place throughout the film.  Randy Quaid, who plays the father, surpasses the art direction taken by the film as a key piece in this creepy puzzle.  I’m not going to spoil anything else for you because I would like you to take a moment and watch it.  It’s not a terrible movie, it’s not the best thing you’ll see in your life, it’s just a movie that you need to experience. 



Goin’ Campin? Tucker & Dale vs Evil

19 01 2012

It is my pleasure to introduce to you, the latest camp/cult classic, Tucker & Dale vs Evil.  These two well mannered rednecks just want to fish and hunt at their newly purchased vacation house.  The only problem is there’s evil in dem woods…and college kids keep dying around them.  Blood, gore and laughter abounds.  I know, it really sounds sick and twisted combining gore with laughter, it actually sounds borderline psychotic, but the feeling of the movie, while being suspense ridden at times, is really quite light hearted. 

Tucker & Dale vs Evil hit store shelves December 9th of 2011 and has been picking up substantial speed as a cult classic.  With recognizable characters, above average acting (for a camp slasher), creative deaths and a hilarious plot it’s no mystery why Tucker & Dale is popular.  In fact, watch it now instantly on Netflix or run down to wherever it is you kids buy DVD’s and pick it up.  You won’t be disappointed.

And I wouldn’t leave you guys to watch it without a drinking game to go with it.  Grab a group of friends or get socially-unhealthy-drunk alone.

Tucker & Dale vs Evil drinking game:

  • Anytime someone dies. *DRINK*
  • Anytime Allison gets knocked unconscious. *DRINK*
  • Anytime Dale is socially awkward. *DRINK*
  • Anytime a beer is cracked open. *DRINK*
  • Anytime the names “Tucker” or “Dale” are said.  *DRINK*

Well have fun with that one kidos, it’s one of my favorites of 2011.  Ring in the new year with a new classic.


Don’t Miss “Attack the Block”

13 01 2012

Horror and Sci-Fi fans rejoice, Attack the Block is here and apparently I’m just now finding out about it.  Attack the Block was released here in the states on October 25th of last year and if you missed it then, I suggest you watch it now. 

Attack the Block is about a gang of teenagers who manage to kill an alien that crash lands right in front of them.  After gloating about their kill, they’re soon met by more wolf like alien reinforcements.  Action and mayhem ensues.

Attack the Block is a refreshing take on the alien genre.  The aliens look amazing and don’t scream CGI, classic stunts and superb special effects make Attack the Block a unique experience you don’t get in this “Green Screen” era. 

Attack the Block has a wonderful cast of characters who’s personalities mesh extremely well together.  The british slang is humerous and is pretty easy to understand, adding a great deal to the “Block” feel.  This is their block and they’re going to do whatever it takes to defend it…or defend themselves.

I won’t even suggest this movie to just horror or sci-fi fans, Attack the Block is an all around great movie, I suggest that everyone see it.  Do not miss it.





Return of the Killer Tomatoes Movie Night

10 12 2011

Last nights winner of our Lucky Movie of the Night was Return of the Killer Tomatoes.  RotKT barely beat out the horror movie House by the small margin of one vote on our Facebook page.  So really only one person voted, but we have Julie to thank for voting for RotKT because it ended up being a  pleasure and a half. 

Return of the Killer Tomatoes is the sequal to the 1978 possible cult classic, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.  Arriving conveniently 10 years after Attack, Return has the fiendish Professor Gangreen up to no good, creating beautiful vixens and oiled up body builder henchmen out of tomatoes.  As you can probably perceive on your own *SPOILER* his plans are ultimately foiled by meddling teenagers.  But don’t let it’s 42% on Rotten Tomatoes and strangely a 4.2 on IMDB fool you, Return of the Killer Tomatoes is a brilliant B-Movie and deserves rightful cult status.  Return knows it’s not an oscar winning drama and it flaunts it.  Constantly breaking the fourth wall, a la Mel Brooks, and even achnowledging it’s use of one actor to play multiple parts.  Just add a mustache and voila, brand new character.  Amusingly enough you actual only get to see “killer tomatoes” when they show literally 15 minutes of footafe from Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.  Every other “killer tomato” has already been transformed into mindless musclebound guards.  Above everything else, Return is a fun flick to watch and share drinks with a group of your closest friends…or if you’re lucky enough, under the stars in a car at the drive-in.

Speaking of drinks with friends, here’s a little drinking game we came up with for Return of the Killer Tomatoes:

Return of the Killer Tomatoes Drinking Game

  • Every time someone growls. *Drink*
  • Everytime they break the fourth wall (talk to the camera). *Drink* 
  • Product placement. *Drink* You’ll know it when you see it.

And if you want to get super crazy, *Drink* everytime “Tomato” or “Tomatoes” is said.  Enjoy!


“Chillerama” the New Creepshow?

29 11 2011

Literally EVERY character in the movie.

If you grew up in the 80’s, you no doubt have watched Creepshow. It is easily one of the best campy, so-bad-its-awesome flicks of our time. Well that title might be up for grabs.

A soon to be classic, I'm sure.

Chillerama has everything you might want in a cheesy horror movie. Giant man eating mutant sperm, gay ass biting werewolves, loads of gore and even a few musical numbers.

Real Classy Movie

Throw in a few zombies and you’ve got all the ingredients that have sold millions of movie tickets. Well maybe not gay werewolves, but hey I guess some people like Twilight too.  Do I think this new edition to camp will overtake its predecessor? Absolutely not. Sure its earned itself a place among bad movies, but if you want to truly succeed you had better set your sights on being the next ThanksKilling!

You just got stuffed!

But do make sure you at least watch The Diary of Anne Frankenstine featuring Joel David Moore as Hitler. Revel in the fake German and the irony of his Jewish monster Meshuganuh.

PS This one ISN’T for the kiddies!

Drinking Game Amendment: Here’s the part you’ve really been waiting for, the rules!

1 Drink for any one liner from another movie

2 Drinks for any and all sexually related puns

3 Drinks for any pair of boobs on screen at any given moment!

Srs Out!